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Jan. 28th, 2003 11:48 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
kathygnomeIt is 9', this represents pretty much a high. It's absolutely frigid.
I guess that matches my mood. I had a therapy appointment tomorrow, I cancelled this morning. Technically she can ding me for the full amount I guess. I just didn't think there was much point. I'm just getting less and less enthusiastic about this as I feel like it's less and less possible. I just look at myself and think "I don't see this happening." As I look at other people, not everyone, but enough people, and especially as I hear the stories of "successful" transitioners, I just am less and less convinced that I'm not just paying $50,000 to exchange living one lie for living another. I need some time to think about things. And I don't need to drive 200 miles round trip or talk to Diane to do that.
I did get good news today, I am definitely retaining my job despite upcoming layoffs, but I may have to take on some additional out of field respnosibilities. My guess is probably covering a counter for lunch or something. It's bad here. Some places in less well off parts of the state are talking about four day school weeks.
I guess that matches my mood. I had a therapy appointment tomorrow, I cancelled this morning. Technically she can ding me for the full amount I guess. I just didn't think there was much point. I'm just getting less and less enthusiastic about this as I feel like it's less and less possible. I just look at myself and think "I don't see this happening." As I look at other people, not everyone, but enough people, and especially as I hear the stories of "successful" transitioners, I just am less and less convinced that I'm not just paying $50,000 to exchange living one lie for living another. I need some time to think about things. And I don't need to drive 200 miles round trip or talk to Diane to do that.
I did get good news today, I am definitely retaining my job despite upcoming layoffs, but I may have to take on some additional out of field respnosibilities. My guess is probably covering a counter for lunch or something. It's bad here. Some places in less well off parts of the state are talking about four day school weeks.
