The Red Pill Is Light Blue

I'll warn you ahead of time that even for my TMI posts, this is pretty TMI. It also probably drifts out of the medical into the personal and therefore, might be considered less worksafe. (As if any of my TMI posts are really worksafe by the most strict definitions.)

Ok, so I had an orgasm. Yay for me. Ding! Grats!

I wasn't sure I was even going to post on it. It's sort of a very "tranny" thing to do. And had it happened at four weeks like it did for my travelling companion, I probably wouldn't have. But given how quickly it seems to come (so to speak) for Dr. Chet's patients, I was starting to get concerned. I also have suffered a real major decrease in sensitivity overall and the places I'm most sensitive are also mixed with some "issues" most particularly that stray suture that used to itch? It's not painful and it's at the tip of the inner labia and they're not very big to start so it really was difficult to do anything down there (the feminist in me cringes at using that term but it best describes it) without causing some pain. And unfortunately, that's just not my thing. And honestly, I was starting to worry that this wasn't going to happen. And while I was ok with that, being ok isn't quite the same as being happy about it.

I was also, honestly, getting really horny. I mean, it's been three months. I wasn't sure before surgery what exactly the parameters of being non-orgasmic might be. If there was no desire, that would be one thing, but the idea of being horny all the time and never orgasming? That wasn't a real pleasant thought. To be honest, I never asked the question because being horny but non-orgasmic sounded pretty hellish and if that was the case, I didn't want to know. Mainly because that would have been a price worth paying, so why worry about it.

So what was it like. Well it felt good. (Duh.) But what was it like. Well it was both different and the same as before. It did seem to be more intense. A lot more intense actually. That's been my experience since starting estrogen, but it was different from before surgery. It was another step more intense, but not nearly as much as the step up when I started HRT. That could also be because orgasms are less frequent or because it required longer and more aggressive stimulation to get there. It did seem to have more of a physical effect on my body. Now I'd had these sorts of orgasms before, even when I was a boy. But they were extremely extremely rare.

I guess the next thing is sort of the personal view of it all. Well, it didn't feel like boy stuff. For lack of a better way of putting it. I avoided the whole inner labia thing by using my palm over the entire organ. It still hurt a bit, but not so much that it distracted me from the task at hand so to speak. It also stimulated a lot of areas that were deeper in my anatomy.

The key question though is was it the same type of orgasm that a woman would have. And I think pretty much the answer is not really, but it sure wasn't male. While it probably looked distinctly female, the type of stimulation required was very similar to before. It wasn't quite stroking off, but it was close, and I'm pretty sure one of the major things being stimulated was subdermal left over male stuff--there's erectile tissue going fairly deep, it's more or less attached to the clitoris, but I think with Chet it maybe a bit more submerged--he tends towards very small clits. I have no idea how homologous this is to female structures. Oh, and the feeling was far more spread out, rather than concentrated. Not just not in an organ I don't have anymore, but it also wasn't concentrated in the rearranged tissues of the organ I no longer have. The type of muscle spasms just weren't quite the same as I'm used to in my partners. On the other hand, I wasn't really in any position to monitor what was going on inside my vagina and there definitely were muscle spasms. A lot of them. I also do ejaculate apparently. It wasn't a squirt. I'm told this is because the prostate is still present. It was a sort of post-orgasmic ooze, but it was out of the urethra and maybe my girlfriend's have all been faking (doubt it), but I've never experienced anything like that from the other side of things. I guess the good news is that it's nothing anyone would notice, it's just that I'm aware of it. Oddly pre-op but post-hrt I had no discharge whatsoever. One thing is certain tho, I am removed from the tyranny of male ejaculation. On one side, that means I physically don't have to orgasm once or twice a day like one needs to use a bathroom--that is a reality of male life that most women don't appreciate and I think is responsible for a lot of why men and women tend towards a view sexuality as less and more intimate respectively. But on the other side, it means I am multiply orgasmic. (Oh wait, both those sides are positive. What do you know. Weeee!)

I told you it was TMI!

Well recovery continues.

I'm mostly comfortable these days. The exceptions are if I'm wearing tight jeans, which given my weight gain is unfortunately often, or if I am sitting for a really long period. That one is sort of weird. I feel fine, but when I get up, it's like my vulva has gone to sleep and then the blood flows back in or the nerves stop being compressed or whatever and my clitoral/inner labia area flares and throbs for a little while. It's still getting better though.

The other exception is the external stitches are still there and they're starting to get itchy and I can feel general irritation where I think theyre pulling at skin when they get pulled at by my panties. Also if I apply some rubbing alcohol, I can feel pain from them, which tells me they are keeping a bit of the skin open. I'm considering clipping them, but then there are knots and I think to myself that they must be there for some good purpose. Well, one other than making me itch.

I've been bad about dilation. Doing a lot of short sessions and with all our running around for the long weekend skipping a few, but it doesn't seem to have made much of a difference. Last night I took extra time and I've started to work in the #4 (35mm). It wasn't exactly painless, but no blood or other misery, and it wasn't all that bad. I got probably 5" from it, maybe a bit more. Not quite what I get from the smaller ones which varies from 5 1/2" to 6" The only real downside is that the PC muscle is still pretty tight. I'm not sure I could have sex unless I'd dilated immediately before.